Steps to Patience: Sources of Calm


Where do you find calm? Where do you find endurance? Where do we draw the line between being “uncomplaining” and being authentic? How can we find tolerance for those around us? Where do we find self-possession in the face of want or high anticipation? What is the source of diligence?”

A moment of calm in the park

These are our questions from yesterday.

If patience is finding calm during the waiting time, where does that calm come from?

In an interview with NPR, Allan Lokos, author of Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living, noted:

We can learn what [exercising patience is] like by stopping and taking a moment to just become more aware of what is going on within us; specifically, the thoughts, feelings and physical sensations that arise. And they’re constantly arising, one after another. They arise, and they die away. When we cling to them, that’s when trouble can begin.

During your time of impatience (maybe you’re having one now! I know I am!), stop.

What are you feeling? A sense of physical urgency? Fear? Tension in your face and body?

What of those can you release? Bodily tension can be focused on, acknowledged, and released. Fear can be examined, and often reasoned with.  Once you are aware of what feelings and sensations you are experiencing, consider:

-deep breathing

-taking a whiff of an essential oil like jasmine or lavender, thought to bring relaxation. Some people prefer mint or other scents. If you are going to be experiencing a long journey of patience, consider creating a relationship between a scent and a feeling of relaxation. Lie on your back, sink into the floor, and breathe in a scent. Play relaxing music, and bring your mind to relaxing thoughts, even if those thoughts are brief and fleeting. Regularly doing this can create a connection between the scent and the feeling you get during the exercise such that just smelling the scent brings the feeling of relaxation. It worked for Pavolv’s dog, right?


-distracting yourself with a worthwhile, rewarding activity

What are your secrets to calm?


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